Heart Break: My Regrets (1)

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My girlfriend of nine years broke up with me to return to her Ex. The unbearable part is that they seem so serious and committed. In just about a year, they seem more committed than our 9 years Relationship. Am crushed and feel so stupid.  I shouldn’t have taken her for granted. I could have done better by her.

We met in University back in 2001 and the relationship started out as the most beautiful thing that I had ever been through; she said the same thing too. We felt like we were soul mates and we were very certain that we would be together forever. Throughout the rest of our University days, it was like we were two peas in a pod amongst a campus full of strangers.

We supported each other and we could always lean on each other for anything. During our final year, we got an apartment together and we moved in. It seemed like the logical thing to do because we both needed to make arrangements for a place to stay and we were both in need of flat mates. I can’t remember ever having any serious fight all though our final year… if anything, living together brought us closer to each other.

After graduating college, I struggled for years (and was depressed even) to find a job. She supported us for most of our relationship because she was blessed with a booming business as a first-class events planner/ community organizer. She knew what she wanted right from school days and she went for it as soon as we graduated. On the other hand, I struggled to find my passion and I went through several low- paying jobs. It was emotionally hard on me, being the man and not being able to take over my responsibilities but I believe that it was hardest on her because directly or indirectly, she got to bear the brunt of my frustrations.

We tried to make the best of the situation by taking various trips around the country and enjoying the natural bond that we had for one another. We didn’t have to take trips all the time because we enjoyed staying at home together whether we were intimately conversing about any topic or making l*ve but try as we could, we couldn’t stall it for too long. My struggles took a severe toll on our relationship to the point that I even went through a period of alcohol abuse which lasted a couple of years. Through it all, she stayed faithful, always forgiving me, taking me back and picking me up.

She forgave the fact that she had to pick me out of my own vomit most nights and clean up after me most days. She forgave the fact that she had to refrain her friends from coming over to our house so I wouldn’t feel embarrassed. She forgave the fact that we couldn’t go out anymore because I ended up drinking too much and embarrassing everyone including myself. She forgave the fact that my family members hated her because they blamed her for my ‘disappearing acts’ and for the fact that I didn’t keep in touch with them. She forgave it all and she stayed. For that alone, I respect her a whole lot.